Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Old Business (In Which I Alienate New Readers by Presenting Awkward, Out-of-Context Situations)

Hello there friends!  I recently checked my blog and noticed an unusual amount of traffic.  I was confused as to why, until I discovered that the NoSleep site has a link to my blog!  I, um... I don't know what to say to you.  I'm sorry.  You were probably expecting better than this, weren't you?

Let me back up a moment here and recount.  You might remember I wrote a few short stories like Mailbox in the Woods and A Short-Cut Home and Safety Precautions and The Rabbit Story.  Well, I got contacted by a gentleman who produces a podcast called "NoSleep," and he wanted to air my story on his show!  So you'll find it read here, season 4, episode 23.  I was really pleased with the production quality and how professionally the whole thing was.

As long as I'm getting traffic and giving plugs for stuff, check out my boyfriend Andrew's new site, which you'll notice is shamelessly riding my coat-tails and also doesn't link back to mine.  (Weak, Andrew.  Real weak.)

Now, on to business!  Sorry, new readers, but it's time to tie up some loose ends!

Two of my recent posts mentioned that Andrew's cousins decided not to invite me to their wedding out of spite, and that a woman Andrew hit in a car accident last year is suing both of us.

He dented her aura, so she wants both damages for the injury 
and compensation for the rented aura she had to get from Hertz.

Well, the case was settled for an undisclosed amount, and the insurance took care of it, so we don't have to worry about the legal stuff anymore.  Although it really rustles my jimmies that she got anything at all, considering her "injury" seemed really... how to say this... fake.  Like, super fake.  I don't know why I'm even surprised that there's fakeness here in southern California, but yep, here I am, pissed as hell on AAA's behalf.

But as I said, the bright side is that it cost us nothing (well, except my car, which was destroyed), and that now we can rest easy knowing it's over and done with.  

Now, about Ben and Cara, the soon-to-be-wed Spite Cousins (I mean, they're Andrew's cousins, they're not cousins to each other).  (Ben is his actual cousin.  Cara is going to be an in-law.)

Remember how Andy's mother visited in December and rustled my jimmies?

I've been rustled a lot lately.

Well, Ben's mother (Andy's aunt) called her sniffing for dirt.  She asked "how Julie was."

Drunk as a loon!

In a rare show of kindness, she didn't take the opportunity gifted to her to complain about me, and instead told them I was polite and a gracious host.  Thanks, Gail!  I really appreciate that she's trying so hard.  It's a long, slow, uphill climb, but I hope someday, I'll be able to stop posting a picture of a Disney villain every time I mention her.

Maybe someday she'll stop LION about her feelings and we can have an open, frank discussion about our relationship.

Yesterday Andrew and I got a wedding invitation in the mail from Ben and Cara.  Addressed to both of us.  I suspect that after Andrew's mother vouched for me, Aunt Kate talked to Cara and Ben and told them they ought to invite us after all.  In other words, they are trying to save face as opposed to actually feeling regret, but the jury's still out on whether or not we plan to go.  Personally I want to just be straight with them and ask whether we're genuinely wanted or not, but Andy wants to wait to see if more information appears.

That about covers old business.  In new business, we went to Disneyland on Sunday, but it was awful.

The crappiest place on earth!

The mistake we made was accepting free tickets from a friend of a friend, who hung out with us in the park and turned out to be a little nutty.  In between hitting on Jack and talking about her cat, she revealed:

  • She has an eating disorder.
  • She's bipolar.
  • She was kicked out of college at some point for an unspecified psychiatric episode.
  • She thinks her parents, who she lives with, bully her, and that's why she has an eating disorder.
  • Her parents arranged a marriage for her.  (Dunno what to make of this.)
  • She doesn't have many friends 
Now look, I don't want to judge, and I'm not saying any of those problems are really her fault, but when someone who never even introduced themselves to you reveals multiple major personal issues like this, shit gets uncomfortable.  And she only said this to me.  I don't know why (because we're both females?), but I felt so acutely awkward and couldn't even think of a good way to get away, considering she'd just given us these tickets.  I didn't want to be impolite or ungrateful.  She wouldn't un-cling from Jack, though, and kept saying how she was single, and it set off major alarm bells.  I was worried that at any moment she'd unhinge her jaw and just swallow him whole.  At one point while we were alone-ish in a line she started asking me about dating advice and I had to bite my tongue from telling her to back off.  I don't want my (already sort of messed up) best friend to end up with someone with all those issues, but I also didn't feel comfortable being the one to say that.  I mean, Jack should be the one to say it.  But she wasn't acting crazy around Jack, only around me.  (Besides, Jack already had a date lined up the next day with a hair photographer he met online.)  (I wish that were a joke.)

We cut out early, around 5 pm.  The whole thing was so, so, so uncomfortable.  I cried.  Like, a lot.  Disneyland is (was) sacred to me.  Andrew and I had planned to go in lieu of the wedding but with recent updates I don't know what's going to happen.  I'm just trying to forget it happened by memorialising it here forever on my blog.

I guess that sums up everything that's happened recently.  I have to go now because it's Tuesday and we have D&D.  Look here later in the week for a brief recap of a great D&D session we had, in which my big dumb orc character makes an ass of himself because of his total lack of self-awareness, not at all like I do in real life, shut up.

Things were simpler when we were kids.

Here's the crew from one of our games!  Lucious Bloodsmythe IV, the orc, is mine.  
He comes from a long line of absolute morons who fuck up every campaign they touch.

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