Sunday, December 5, 2021

What Is Grief, If Not Love Persevering?

I've always said that the reason Iron Man 1 is the best movie of all time is because of its core message: that broken hearts can heal.

It's been a very rough month for me as the move from Los Angeles to San Francisco looms ever-closer.  We have less than 48 hours remaining in this home, which we've been in almost ten years.  

That being said, part of me looks forward to it, because this house feels all wrong without Seamus in it.  We had to say good-bye to him on November 29th, and since then, everything has been wrong.  Normally I can explain my feelings but for this experience, words fail me.  Seamus was my best friend, my ride-or-die guy.  He was there for my graduation and my cross-country move and my wedding and the birth of my son.  He's just always been there.  A small piece of my soul in a scruffy, smelly, ill-mannered terror of a terrier.

Earliest photo of Seamus, circa 2008.

He passed away in my arms; it was very quiet and peaceful.  He was about sixteen years old.

Unable to process it fully, I cried a whole bunch and have spent my time distracting myself by packing for the move and going to Comic Cons.  I was already committed to the conventions, as tickets had been purchased.  I thought it would be good for me to get out of the house.  Marvel has always been a comforting franchise to me, as well as an escapist fantasy, so I figured it would probably be best to get out there and deal with something a little less traumatic than the death of my dog.  You know, like Thanos trying to genocide half the universe with his magic rocks.  Small-scale stuff that my brain could comprehend.  Y'know?

I attended San Diego Comic Con Special Edition on a press pass and had a great time.

✨  p r o f e s s i o n a l  ✨

You can read my coverage here.  With photos!

On the other hand, L.A. Comic Con was kind of a bust.  The convention center was literally so cold that it was almost intolerable.  Jack and I stubbornly hung out for about two hours before deciding it was a bust and leaving.  


The signage was complicated and we couldn't find anything (including the vendor hall), there was no printed out program, and the whole thing seemed slapped together in a very lackluster way.  We attended one panel in full that had a heckler and a terrible sound system, and peeked in on two more poorly-attended panels, leaving due to the subzero temperature.

The only redeeming feature was stumbling upon the cosplay photoshoot by complete accident and meeting a really cool Hawkeye.

I'm the one on the right.

Now that the Con is over I'm left in my partially packed home and feeling the absence of Seamus harder than ever.

WandaVision summed it up best:

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